The Cross Walk: Self-Denial Part 3

Let me offer some opening remarks:

I don’t know about you, but when I first started considering the place of Self-Denial in my spiritual life, I had many different feelings - everything from resistance to ambivalence to desire. I think this is normal for all of us, and certain dynamics play into all this.  First, diving into Self-Denial can be very challenging.  On one hand, self-denial can activate deep wounds and even traumatic memories for those who have experienced abuse, rejection, abandonment and other forms of suffering.  How does a person deny one’s self when there is no well-formed self to deny or there is such a deficit of self-worth and dignity that self-denial just feels like self-rejection?  On the other hand, self-denial can be met with immediate aversion - especially in this day and age in our western culture.  We have seen emerge over the past 25 years an inculturated narcissism or self-centeredness.  Perhaps with good intentions to advance the importance of self-esteem, the psychological and sociological sciences (informed by a flawed anthropology or understanding of the human person) set dynamics in motion for a “me-centric” milieu within education, family life, counseling, policy and most every facet of society.  To add to the inculturated narcissism is the generational impact of divorce along with the demise of marriage and the family.  The cumulative impact of these factors can be seen developmentally upon attachment and bonding - not to mention identity and relationship formation.   Today, we witness radicalized subjectivism and gender ideology adding to this mix.  All to say, promoting self-denial collides with the idolatry of the self so prevalent today.    

Here’s the truth: 

God’s grace and faithful love can heal us of all these wounds and more.  To the world, this is foolishness but for those who share in the supernatural life of God such is truly the Real Reality.  There are levels of self-knowledge and self-worth that can not be obtained without Self-Denial.  Self-denial is actually a path of healing and a way of flourishing in self-worth, meaning and purpose.  Through self-denial, we come to know more deeply our authentic identities as beloveds of God, created in His image and likeness, possessing inherit dignity and worth.  Through self-denial, we discover Self or in the words of Jesus, “Whoever wishes to loose his life for my sake, will [both] find it (eurisko = to find, get, obtain, perceive, see) and save it (sozo = to save, protect, heal, be whole).”  Whether I have no healthy or affirmed sense of self or am too full of myself, the discipleship path of Self-denial offers through Christ a way out of hell.

So as we seek to be conformed to Jesus, we begin to notice how He seeks to transform our thinking, desiring, feeling and acting.   In other words, he seeks to transform our entire person or being.

Starting with Our Attachments:

As we consider the dimension of Self-denial and Jesus’ work of transformation, we quickly encounter the prevalence and role of our attachments.    Self-denial is about addressing those attachments that are impediments or obstacles to our full union with Jesus and being conformed to Him.    The greatest attachment Self-denial seeks to address is our attachment to self-trust and self-sufficiency.  Ultimately, Self-denial is about growth in Freedom.

Before we go too far down this road, let me make a couple of statements so as to prevent misunderstanding, confusion or error here.   First, God created all creation and our humanity.  As such, there are Good goods in this world that we naturally gravitate towards and desire:  food, drink, relationships, meaning, purpose, work, reputation, self-worth, health, recognition, possessions and so forth.    Some goods are necessary for our survival and others for our flourishing.  These are referred to as natural or temporal goods.   Secondly, when we speak about attachments and the spiritual life, we are addressing any disordered or disordinate attachment to goods.    By these two terms I mean the “striving after, use or relation to goods apart from their created purpose and end” - namely, to direct and enable me to arrive at loving communion with God.   The Saints are unanimous in stressing that the presence of things or the absence of things is not the issue.  Rather, the issue is the interior freedom we have to put our trust in God rather than in possessing or keeping, striving after or securing what we already have or long to have.   Lastly, in the wisdom of the Church and Her saints, those goods associated with sensual gratification and material possession (i.e., wealth) have always been approached with great caution.  Why?  Because they mostly appeal to our lower nature and therefore are most easily swayed by temptation and the wounds of sin, flesh and the world (i.e. concupiscence) and therefore most prone to disorder and self-delusion  (see 1 Timothy 6:7-10).  

Coming Next Week:

Next week, we will draw upon Jesus’ encounter with the Rich Young Man in Mark’s Gospel (Mark 10:17-23) to gain some practical helps in Self-Denial and dealing with our attachments.

Until then…may God bless the work of your hands, hearts and spirits!